How to Politely Miss a Memorial Service

How to Politely Miss a Memorial Service
You may have a logistical, emotional, or practical reason to miss a memorial service. Whatever the reason, keep reading for some helpful tips.

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In the funeral industry, the pandemic made one occurence much more common – funerals and memorial services were much smaller. There have always been friends and family that aren’t able to attend a service, but recent events have made it an issue more of us have to deal with. 

The reason you miss the service can be logistical. You’re simply too far away to get there in time for the funeral or memorial.

The reason can be emotional. You get very distraught and it’s difficult to handle a funeral. 

The reason can be practical. You have small children and with everyone attending the funeral you need to stay with them. 

Many things can keep you from the last remembrance of a loved one. In addition to the loss, you may be feeling uneasy or guilty about the situation. There’s no need to beat yourself up about something you may not even be able to control, which was often the case during the pandemic. But there are a few steps you should take before the service to show your support.

Send Your Condolences

Sending your condolences as soon as you hear about the loss is always proper etiquette. It’s best not to do so publicly on social media. Call, meet in person or text if that’s how you usually correspond. Follow up by sending a card with your condolences as well. 

Ask if the Service Will Be Streamed

Today, more families are streaming funeral and memorial services so that more people can take part. Attending the funeral remotely still allows you to participate and be included in the event. If the family would like to stream the service but doesn’t know how, consider helping out.

Offer to Help With the Service

You may be able to offer your assistance in getting the funeral or memorial service arranged, even if you’re miles away. For example, you could create a Facebook announcement for the funeral. Or you could arrange for dinner to be delivered to the next of kin a few days before the service so it’s one less thing they have to worry about. Offer to help however you can.

Don’t Be an Insensitive 

If you can’t attend don’t RSVP yes or even maybe. And be mindful about what you post on social media. If you aren’t able to go to a relative’s funeral because you live across the country with an infant on the day of the service don’t post happy pictures of baby’s first trip to the beach. 

Attend a Later Remembrance

Sometimes, particularly with cremations, there are additional remembrances. For instance, the family may want to have a memorial service before the cremation and a burial service with the remains after the process is complete. Try your best to attend any other services that are held to honor the loved one you lost. 

Make a Donation in the Deceased’s Name

You can honor the deceased by making a donation in their name to a cause they supported. It’s a great way to do something positive in the wake of a tragedy. Check first to see if the family has started a charitable fund in the person’s honor, and if so give what you can.


If you need help arranging a cremation and memorial services Green Cremation Texas is a call away. Our experienced team can help you through all of the steps from start to finish so you don’t have to go it alone. 

You can reach us 24 hours a day 7 days a week by phone, email or text.

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